I am crying myself to sleep again. I don’t if I am important or what. Time. I asked him his time. Just a little time. I don’t know anymore. Should I still continue this? I miss writing poems. Fuck I am sad. I am sad right now. Promises can make a person sad. When promises are broken.

He’s the ONE

I am back with writing … Yay. So I guess I found the one for me. He is cute, he is so tall, he is great. He is the greatest actually. He has this contagious smile. Damn I am inlove with him. I can actually start fire with the feelings I have for him. Well he is far away from me but the love that we have for each other is stronger than the barriers of a long distance relationship. He is the most patient guy I ever met. I rant and vent out with shitty stuffs and he will listen. Even though I utter mean words towards him , he will just accept them. I simply love him. Well this isn’t a poem but I will write him a poem someday. 

Crashing Words

The way he smiles makes me shiver. He looks at me as if I’m the only girl he can see. I stare blankly at him while he talks smoothly. His voice is soothing like sweet classic music. The words coming from his mouth are chants that gives me catharsis

“I like you” he uttered, “please be mine” he added. Then I suddenly I lost my train of thoughts. I told him “I don’t know”.

But he answered “you have all the time in the world, I will wait”.  And his words crushed me.

Missing.

I am trying to write again. I am finding inspirations to write good poems and short stories that can make people happy and feel at the same time. I’ve been locked up with my feelings. I don’t even know what to feel actually. It is like I am trapped. That’s why I cannot even write anything good here. But I am trying. I want to write beautiful poems again. I want to express my emotions again. I wanna feel that I can write good things again. I have to rhyme words and phrases that can make you feel good. I miss writing. I miss this. I miss me. 

It’s been a while…

Date: January 8, 2016
Time: 9:04pm
It’s been a while since I wrote something about someone. My past lovers are gone. I don’t even recognize their faces anymore. Everything about them is gone, even a trace of their smile. I am living my life to the fullest. I make mistakes. I had some argument with people I don’t like. And I am losing words to write about someone. I thought writing is my passion. But I guess inch by inch I am out of words to say….
I miss the sense of my words.

You’re gonna miss me when am gone

I will make sure that you will miss every inch of me. The smell of my hair, and even the smell of my favorite perfume. You will miss me when you see those tulips at the flower shop near your apartment. You will miss every conversation that we had. You will miss me in every song you play. You will miss me when I am gone. And you will regret the day that I Ieft because you hurt me. And it will haunt you every night you crawl on your bed. You will miss the every detail of me. Those caresses and touches that gave you chills. I gave you those. And I am the only one that can give you those. See, you’re gonna miss me when I am gone. Now, I am saying bye. You hurt me….

Is it really a SIN?

Is it really a sin to be ugly?
We met online ,on this random app. He was near my place ,approximately 500meter away from my apartment. We talked for a bit and decided to meet up at a cheap restaurant near our place. He said he was wearing black, and I told him I will be wearing a jacket with a printed mickey mouse on it. It was 9:20pm. I saw a guy wearing black. I went to the cheap restaurant ,he wasn’t there. But there was a guy wearing black near this cheap restaurant. I think he saw me. I saw him looked at me. Then after that, he left. I saw him leave. Then i looked at him, he pretended that he was looking somewhere so I won’t be able to see his face. Damn it. Is it really a sin to be ugly??

She

She is vulnerable. She isn’t a bitch because of her red lipstick. She is beautiful because of her pimple marks that made her strong. Her eyes are can see from within not just the outside of who you are. She can see how sad or happy you are today. She doesn’t care how you look or how people see you. She only cares about on how you see yourself as you. She is capable of love, she isn’t perfect , she can also hurt feelings. But she vulnerable, she is passionate when uttering the words “I Love You”. She can be hurt easily.  She can carry herself in the public with guts and confidence even though people will just judge her looks. But she doesn’t care. She is a woman with a class, yes, she can be a bitch ,if you are rude to her. But remember , she can be your angel when you treat her right. Trust is her number one enemy. It is hard for her to trust anyone so she tends to push people away ,but she doesn’t intend to do that. She just wants you to stay and be with her even if she is difficult. She just wants you to show how you really wanna be with her. And at the end of the day, if you earned her trust ,she will give you everything. That’s how vulnerable she is….. this is how vulnerable I am.